4/23/25

HOMELAND IN-SECURITY

Kristi Noem Has Purse, Passport, Cash, and Access Pass Stolen While Dining

Mom And Dad aren't unreasonable. We've lived through our 20's and 30's, when all the decisions we made weren't necessarily the most rational.

But for Christ's sake, Secretary Noem!

Are you unaware of the height of your irresponsibility?

It's not as though you are some 20-something, diz-brained sycophant so enthralled by all that gloriously seductive power that you lose all sense of reason. No -- you are apparently a 53 year old diz-brained sycophant so enthralled by that gloriously seductive power that you have no sense of reason! No matter what the Botox, collagen, and silicone suggest -- you are a middle-aged adult with decades of living experience and every reason to make smart, adult choices -- especially considering that you are not just a low-level employee of the Department of Homeland Security but that you are the gum-danged Secretary of Homeland Security. The number one in charge. The role model for 55,000 DHS employees. As you do so should they.

And as such, you should be the paragon of pragmatism, the exemplar of excellence, and just plain "in the game" enough to know that you don't leave in your dang purse anything the loss of which could jeopardize your own or American security.

Did I mention that you are the Secretary -- not of the Department of Energy, or the Interior, or State, or Health and Human Services, Agriculture, Commerce, the Treasury, Transportation, or Veteran's Affairs -- no -- you are the Secretary of Homeland Security. 

And you leave your official DHS ID in your purse? But at least it was a low-key, nondescript purse that wouldn't attract the attention of lurking thieves, right? Of course, not! It was a 44-hundred dollar Gucci bag with a flashing neon sign saying "steal me!" And in there with your ID was your driver's license, checkbook, and three grand in cash -- inside a $600 Louis Vuitton purse -- I mean, why not, right? If you're going to attract the attention of criminals, you may as well go all out.

Point is -- Kristi Noem is just one more giant red-nose wearing clown in the Trump circus, so ill-suited for the job that her lack of attention to her own security cost her thousands of dollars and her federal ID -- which could be used for nefarious purposes in the wrong hands. If the Fish in the Pot were here now, he'd indignantly remonstrate, "She should not be here when your mother is out." But here she is. the "Thing 2" to Pete Hegseth's "Thing 1," thumping and bumping down the wall in the hall of national security. And if they aren't both dismissed summarily, we may face a bigger mess than even the Cat in the Hat can clean up.